[The Protagonist Makes You Retreat About Thirty Miles] Chapter 5 – He Likes The Scent Of Humans

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Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.
Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).
Translated by: Yujuan

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Ever since the world was divided into five continents, as all the Celestials had been recuperating and building up strength, there were hardly any major conflicts, and while each of their own underlings knew they were just waiting for an opportune moment to act, most had built up an assumption that they probably wouldn’t clash again while they were still alive. Unfortunately, everyone had underestimated a protagonist’s cultivation speed.

Most of the five continents’ higher-ups were made up of Celestials, including the Haotian Shrine. The Shrine’s Three White Robed Priests all possessed abilities, of which Ji Mo’s was the most unique – he had always had the ability to accurately see through a Celestial’s hidden cards ever since he had appeared, even able to infer a Celestial’s deeply concealed past with just a few words. In a world where the Celestials themselves were the most powerful weapons, while he did not have any offensive abilities, he had always been regarded as someone dangerous by the higher-ups of various continents. It was also because of this, the Demonic Continent had chosen to launch an attack on the day Ji Mo had gone out on a mission, even dispatching their only prince, if only to dispose of their enemy.

Since their mission had been to capture a Celestial, the divine attendants Ji Mo had brought along with him were naturally the Shrine’s elite, but they were utterly helpless in the face of a protagonist’s son, the Demon Prince Ye Po. From the guy’s tone, Ji Mo could tell that Ye Po was using the divine attendants to draw him out, and there was no way he would run to his death.

“Your companions seem to be in danger?”

Ye Mingjun had naturally heard what that person had shouted, and seeing his questioning look, Ji Mo fell silent. After a long while, he gave a sigh, “Ye Junhou isn’t easy to deal with.”

Ji Mo had been considered one of the emerging writers with considerably better prospects, and he had interacted with or had a discussion on characterization with the authors of many of the Celestials here, one of them being the creator of the Demon Lord Ye Junhou, Dark Black. Dark Black had a writing style similar to his pen name, a writer whose selling point was his blackened and ruthless characters, and the Ye Junhou he had written was a protagonist who seemed all the more so like a villain with a vendetta against society.

There was still a sealing scroll the High Priest had prepared to make a Celestial yield in Ji Mo’s Storage Bracelet, and it wasn’t impossible to use against Ye Po. However, the thought of going against Ye Po never crossed his mind, because if he even went as far as to touch a single hair on Ye Po’s head today, Ye Junhou would be there to personally make sure he suffered miserably tomorrow.

It naturally felt great to read about a protective protagonist who would kill someone’s entire family if they dared to touch his son in a book, but as someone who stood on the opposing side, this wasn’t a good thing.

Very few ordinary humans would come to a good end if they set themselves against a protagonist, and he couldn’t count the number of divine attendants that had been replaced in the past three years. Ji Mo no longer had close relationships with any of them, and the only one he had a slight impression of among this batch of subordinates was Qing Ye.

He was a boy adopted by the Shrine, and his parents had apparently died in the war, being the only one to be fortunately discovered and brought back by the Rising Sun Priest.

The number of orphans adopted by the Shrine was about eight-hundred to a thousand a year. The Rising Sun Priest had long since forgotten Qing Ye’s existence, but he had never forgotten his savior, often inquiring Ji Mo about the news of his benefactor while they were setting up the ambush in Jiangyin City, and had also said eagerly to him, his dream was to strive hard in his cultivation, then follow the other priests’ footsteps into upholding the Godly Continent’s safety.

While he was a boy with quite a good disposition, they had only exchanged a few words, nothing more. He wasn’t worth risking his life for, nor was he worth going against the vengeful Demon Lord.

Very briefly determining the current state of affairs, Ji Mo knew the best choice was to pretend he hadn’t heard anything, then continue using Ye Mingjun to return to the Shrine, this way the High Priest would come to naturally come to avenge the divine attendants. As a mortal, what capabilities did he have to interfere in a war between the protagonists?

But, even knowing so, he heard himself ask Ye Mingjun hesitantly, “Does Xianjun have anything he wants to say?”

“The System hasn’t assigned a mission to me.”

The immortal’s answer was indifferent as always, yet Ji Mo quietly clutched his own sleeve. Right, what had he been expecting? Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands was also a xuanhuan novel where countless people had died, and naturally, the protagonist Ye Mingjun would not have a very high level of justice. For a novel whose protagonist was in blind pursuit of justice like the High Priest, its statistics had flopped to the point that the author had just simply abandoned it. They had long since sifted out these characters labeled as Virgin Mary’s^[1] themselves, how could they possibly hope for the arrival of a selfless hero to save this world?

Oh well, it wasn’t worth it to be targeted by Ye Junhou for a group of strangers, however, if it was all to suffer in silence in the future, this made no difference from he who had gotten used to living on with this mask.

Guiding the others into braving through untold dangers, being unwilling to make a sacrifice himself, and could only hide in the shadows pretending to be kind-hearted, it really did fit with his rotten personality.

Soundlessly giving a sigh, he finally made a decision, feigning calmness as he said to this Celestial, “The Demon Prince does not have a lack of water demonic beasts, and they’ll be waiting ahead of us to intercept the ships after occupying Linguang City. If we want to escape, perhaps launching a surprise attack while their guard is down might be more appropriate, how many missions does Xianjun need to complete to be confident in fending them off?”

His words were half true. It was true that there were water demonic beasts under Ye Po’s command, but as long as Ye Po himself was in Linguang City watching their punishment of dismemberment, Ji Mo was confident in his chances of safely returning to the Shrine. And yet, before he could ponder upon the best choice to guide Ye Mingjun into repelling Ye Po, that guy hit the mark on his thoughts with a single comment, “You want to save them?”

“For a chivalrous person such as Xianjun, you must be disinclined to see the evil acts of slaughter by the Demon Prince.”

Trying to flatter him into agreeing did not seem to be of use, and Ji Mo knew it would be impossible without paying a price, so he could only continue, “Of course, they are, after all, the people I brought with me. If Xianjun is willing to step in, I will fulfill your requirements the best I can.”

The moment these words were uttered, Ye Mingjun’s eyes instantly deepened a little, and he reached out to lift a lock of black hair that had fallen onto Ji Mo’s shoulder, his fingers meticulously playing with the stands as if he had discovered something interesting, and smiled lightly, “Old Wang was right, I wouldn’t be able to truly understand humans by just looking at them. I wouldn’t be able to tell that you were actually a good person.”

“Xianjun must be joking, in this world, the first to die the moment we run into danger will be a good person.”

This would be the most laughable appraisal Ji Mo had ever heard in his life, but he was currently not in the mood to correct this statement. Wuyan had replaced his sight, and had also caused him to become particularly sensitive to sounds and smells. He could distinctly feel Ye Mingjun gradually approaching him, his snow-white hair practically brushing against his cheek, and while he comforted himself by the fact that the System would not allow Ye Mingjun to go too far, he couldn’t help but grow tense.

Ye Mingjun could observe Ji Mo’s face turning ashen, unaccustomed to someone getting into his comfort zone. He did not do anything, merely lowering his head to sniff at the strands on his fingers, thinking with considerable interest,

He had refused to yield to him, even when he was in danger, yet he was willing to beg for him to save a group of unimportant people; doing good deeds, yet loathing himself for being unable to become a perfectly good and honest person according to the moral standards of his heart; sometimes he was so cowardly he itched to wrap himself in thorns, yet there were times he could even grit his teeth to do something dangerous. What a contradictory and complex person.

However, this was exactly what he had been searching for, entangled in a strong smell of love and hate, a mysterious scent that only existed in humans.

The life as a White Robed Priest had always been pretty good, and the smell of the Shrine’s incense still lingered in Ji Mo’s hair, soothing all who got a whiff of it. As if he was pleased by this scent, Ye Mingjun raised his head, a confidence solely belonging to an immortal in his features, “As you wish, we’ll go save them.”

Just this? He was satisfied by just touching his hair? No need for him to complete those weird missions? Was it possible that he had made a wrong estimation, and Ye Mingjun’s line of thought had remained on the same pure elementary school student’s standards as the System?

Never expecting Ye Mingjun to agree so simply to his request, and for a moment, Ji Mo couldn’t decide if this guy didn’t know how difficult their opponents were, or that immortals were just unafraid of anything the moment they became mischievous. Just as he hesitated on whether to give him a warning, that person stepped over the railings, reaching out to him.

Linguang City was a city in the Godly Continent with the best sunshine, and in the past, Ji Mo had never felt there was anything particular with its sprinkling of sunlight until a white-robed man walked under its brilliance, his reed-like white hair blowing with the wind, a pair of luminous eyes containing a slight smile glancing in his direction, and that was when he realized with astonishment, it was a bright and breezy day today, of very pleasant weather.

His eyes are quite beautiful.

As he was brought down the ship by Ye Mingjun, Ji Mo touched his mask Wuyan, which probably wouldn’t be taken off for the rest of his life, a slightly envious thought flashing across his mind.

As if he had detected his split-second sense of loss, the immortal suddenly turned over from under the sunlight, his expression carrying the usual 70% gentleness, 30% interest, but his tone was more serious than before, “Ji Mo, I like humans, they are very adorable life forms in my eyes. The reason why I want to understand you guys is because I like humans, please do not forget this.”

Humans? Adorable? So, this guy had stroked him, but it was actually equivalent to a human stroking a cat?

With the divergent thinking of a writer, he instantly grasped the profound meaning in his words, and Ji Mo’s feelings became a little strange,

Sweet-talking the protagonist into working for him was the persona he had given himself, but why was the one being deceived beaming with such a contented look on his face, and he was bitterly contemplating on life instead, what was going on? Trying to lure in the cat with treats, but being petted by the cat instead?

Startled once again by this idea, Ji Mo lowered his head to look at his own palms, feeling that it was all completely beyond him, which part of this hypocritical, weak and pitiful life form was worth his liking?

As expected, Ye Mingjun was a strange immortal.

“The capture target’s favorability has increased by 250, Xianjun, congratulations for returning your favorability to zero!”

Just as Ji Mo was trying to analyze Ye Mingjun’s mindset, the System promptly updated the state of the capture mission, and it was Ye Mingjun’s turn to become slightly dumbstruck,

He had yet to give Ji Mo anything, why had his favorability suddenly increased? This did not correspond with the laws he had summed up according to his previous observation of humans… Could it be, did humans like being petted?

Yes, there were many examples of humans living under the same roof after making intimate contact in the reference books he had gathered, so, the reason why the System had banned him from making physical contact with his capture target was because humans generated a comfortable sensation after being touched, and such an emotion was a shortcut to love?

Earnestly coming to this conclusion as his line of thought completely deviated from the norm, Ye Mingjun’s curiosity swelled more than ever before, and thought eagerly,

Interesting, in order to test the accuracy of this hypothesis, he had to think of something to dispel this little guy’s vigilance, so that he could pet him a couple times more as an experiment.

Ji Mo naturally would never be able to guess such a mystical view, but this did not obstruct him from noticing the trouble-making aura wafting from a certain protagonist that was getting increasingly stronger. Unfortunately, due to his currently unfavorable circumstances, he could only comfort himself with a lack of confidence,

He… must be thinking of how to deal with the Demon Prince, right?

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Ye Mingjun: Humans are so cute, I want to adopt one and pet him in my arms every day.

Ji Mo: Is this some sort of special hobby?

Author: He’s treating you like an SSR^[2] and a cat, this is definitely true love.

Ji Mo: Get out!

TL Notes

[1] Virgin Mary: a slang for people who have bleeding hearts/saints, sometimes used sarcastically for people who ruin all the fun. Naturally, they’re not a very popular trope in novels.

[2] SSR: An acronym for Super Super Rare, it’s an extremely rare card you obtain in mobile games.

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